Even for us it's mostly through just noticing someone wants to interact and letting them. Sometime they may just involuntarily take the helm because they have something to say and need the body to write.
It's not always "voluntary" but rarely forced if ever.
I know how it feels to need your headmate to help with that kind of stressful situations but it can also be done without switching ^^ For us, it's with touch imposition because Tohru had it day 1 but we're quite a bit special on that and it may not be easy for everyone ^^°
I can reassure you that it's indeed possible. Forcing a switch is way harder than how it happens for us now. We needed Twi to be more sensitive to details, feelings and thoughts to understand which thoughts were us and from that switches would be more natural and easier to notice. We don't really ask for switch and just let it happen and we can know what happens or who fronts from the thoughts's feelings
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Reply to: the concern is more "if they cant switch when actively trying to, will they ever be able to do it at…
It's great that she's motivated to help you ^^ it'll help to be able to get through the difficulties ^^ But take care to not let her get ahead of her capabilities or she may burn herself out.
my older one keeps flipping between "hell yeah i want to try x" and "i dont know. i dont feel like it". the newer one doesnt want to talk to people quite as much but she wants to be able to help me with my emotional states i think?? and part of that has been trying to talk to people so she can practice having some modicum of control
I was the most ambitioous when I first appeared and thought I could take on everything. Sadly I burnt myself a lot on the way and it took me time to recover. I don't wish that to anyone. Take care.
my older one keeps flipping between "hell yeah i want to try x" and "i dont know. i dont feel like it". the newer one doesnt want to talk to people quite as much but she wants to be able to help me with my emotional states i think?? and part of that has been trying to talk to people so she can practice having some modicum of control
the newest one barely talks so far but i know its there. i know its there. it comes when i call it. i did not intend to have so many guys in here it just kind of showed up after i thought about the possibility too much and i dont have the heart to make it leave
You make me remember of Twi when you say "i dont have the heart to make it leave" but I would say not to worry too much. We had a bunch of short lived headmates here and after some time you accept that only the ones who wants to stay and have the will to stay by themselves will remains ^^ Most didn't last more than a week even when Twi believed that they would stay forever. If they're "needed" they'll stay. If they aren't needed they'll be "there" but inactive and it's okay ^^ Better to let them go than to force them here.
Did your headmate have some fronting experience or not at all? I ask because what really helped Twi to understand that switches do happen for real was to task us with fronting as much as possible. I rarely fronted much but I took a full day with the mission to let Twi talk as little as possible. Crystal did the same the following day because an opportunity appeared and fronted for most of a day. This intense lack of activity made Twi feel new situations and understood it wasn't her thinking but only that she was aware through the body.
2:48 PM
What do you mean by "get more plural"?
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Reply to: my entire life is a cycle of "i have got to get more plural" and honestly??????
I'm sorry if I digress but it's just something that hits me out of nowhere but I guess we could define "me" as someone who is feeling and thinking uncorrelated from the body senses. If we remove "body senses" as an element to define oneself then Twi isn't really there until she thinks again.
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2:56 PM
The word "control" is something I don't like somehow because when I tried to "control" the body it never worked. But when I stopped trying to control and just thought about doing something it worked easily.
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Reply to: i mean when i said that i think all she had was bodily awareness and maybe a tiny tiny bit of contro…
Now it's easier but because we first understood that "control" wasn't something that required precision. It's just an abstract concept. the body knows how to do stuff, just tell it what to do.
ive found that i cant really stop thinking or being aware and just fade into the background like im supposed to
3:02 PM
i wonder if itd be helpful to try to get her to do something where ill feel a lot of urge to take control back, so i can distinguish that feeling, or if itd just make it harder to tell if its me doing the things or not
3:03 PM
might as well try
3:03 PM
hello, friend who only barely managed to do the act of scrolling through tumblr to find a blog header. Play a video game
i made a little fronting room in our empty black void of a "headspace" and i get her to pull in the little office chair to the console in my minds eye. notably, when i take back control by accident and then idly look into my minds eye again, ill be back in the chair
3:06 PM
one of my friends has a headmate of three years who enters a specific room to front and thats what gave me the idea
3:07 PM
(only started fronting very recently but she can talk and type perfectly with the body, and such)
3:07 PM
but said friend also describes the experience as still being aware so. maybe its just really hard for former singlets to disconnect from the bodys senses?